Only desire what you can control

I’m no Buddhist, not yet anyway, but one thing I’ve learned from poker is that desiring outcomes that are beyond your control can really mess up your game. If you were to get inside the mind of a typical poker player and find out what he wants at some random point in a session, here are some of the things you might hear:

“To have a huge win tonight.”

“To be dealt a premium hand this deal.”

“To flop the nut straight.”

“A club on the river.”

“The donkey in the five seat to re-buy if he goes broke.”

“That jerk on my left to stop 3-betting me every time I raise.”

“More players to sit down; the game’s drying up.”

“To get back to even.”

“To beat player X in a big pot.”

Everything I’ve listed above is without question a positive outcome, and one that our emotional brain naturally desires. If it happens, wonderful, we feel great. The problem is, none of the things listed above are entirely under our control, therefore no matter how much we desire them, we ultimately don’t determine whether they happen or not, and they often don’t. How do we react in those circumstances? Do we play the A7o UTG because it’s the best hand we’ve seen in an hour? Do we stay another 5 hours trying desperately to get even? Do we blow our cool and play terribly against that guy who kept re-raising us, and then curse him out as we leave the table broke?

In poker, the things we can control are relatively few. We can prepare well for our sessions by studying and thinking about the game when we’re away from the table, and we can make sure we’re well rested, well nourished, and in a positive frame of mind when we sit down to play. We can practice good game selection by choosing where we play (online or in a casino, and the specific game and stakes), selecting the tables that look juiciest, and trying to get the best seat. Finally we can make sound, rational decisions once we’ve begun playing, about the cards we choose to play and the way we bet them throughout a hand.

When you let your emotional brain takeover, and focus your desires on things outside your control, you set yourself up for elation and despair depending on their outcomes. Catch that flush and win a big pot, and it's all good… but if a blank comes instead, then it's all bad. A brain scan of someone playing poker like this would look a lot like that of a problem gambler, which perhaps this person is to some extent, as his brain is dominated by these intense bursts of pleasure and pain. You win in poker when you make better decisions than your opponents, and you’ll have a hard time doing so when these decisions are colored by any emotional interference. So next time you’re waiting for the dealer to deal that river card, or spread that flop where your pocket sixes may or may not improve to a set, don’t sit there hoping for a certain outcome. Know that the fall of the cards is out of your hands and spend that time thinking about what you can control, the most effective betting sequences to take whether it’s outcome A or outcome B you are faced with.

So before your next session, visualize what this Zen approach will feel like at the table. By all means desire to do well those things that you can control: your preparation, your game selection, and your play. But recognize that so many of the things that affect your results are random and outside of your control, and come to terms with that. Unplug the emotional brain, and don’t desire specific outcomes because whether they happen or not, both ways you lose. You lose because you’ve engaged the pleasure and pain centers of the brain, and you lose because you won’t play your best poker when you’re emotionally high or low. Be cool and detached. Be the Tim Duncan of poker. Prepare well, play well, and don’t let the things you can’t control, control you.